


Icarus is flying too close to the sun

by smile_it_will_get_better



Series: Project Icarus (winged!Dirk) [2]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Dirk Gently Being Dirk Gently, Dirk Gently Needs a Hug, Dorks in Love, Farah Black is tired of them, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt Dirk Gently, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Oblivious Dirk Gently, Post Season 2, Secrets, Sort Of, Todd Brotzman is Bad at Feelings, Todd Brotzman is a Good Boyfriend, Wingfic, the rowdy 3 are secretly sweathearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-01 19:48:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15780876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smile_it_will_get_better/pseuds/smile_it_will_get_better
Summary: After a case gone wrong, Dirk is forced to share a secret he has kept from his friends for a very long time. How will they react? Will Dirk get the help he needs?





	1. Icarus life has only just begun

**Author's Note:**

> This took a long time for me to write because I just wasn't in the right mood to write, I think this is like the third version of this story. Anyways, this is dedicated to that one anon called ! person who gave me this idea. I don't know if your reading this, but your awesome.
> 
> It's also a bit short, but I promise a nice long chapter up next.
> 
> Waring there is a tiny bit of gore in this chapter, but not much. Also a fair amount of strong language. Stay safe readers.

Dirk wasn’t the luckiest person in the world. But he wasn’t the unluckiest either. He didn’t have normal luck though, that was for sure. If you asked him, he would say he either had amazing luck or the worst luck. It really depended on the day. 

Today, Dirk had decided, was a very shit luck day. 

If he had to go back and recall all of the events that lead up to this, he would be willing to say this was his fault. He hadn’t listened to Todd or Farah when they told him not to wander off, wandered off and forced Todd and Farah to go with him, and then found a big scary monster of some sort that wanted to kill them. All in all, not his best moves in the century. 

The three of them had gotten separated, Todd and Farah being forced to go the other way than Dirk. Luckily, the wolf man was following him, not the others. His friends were safe for the time, but he wasn’t.

Farah was on the phone, talking rapidly to him to try and get them all back together, he could hear Todd running in the background, but hadn’t said anything since they split. Dirk wondered if he was mad at him. He hoped he wasn’t, Dirk hated it when Todd got mad at him. The silence from the other man caused Dirks stomach to tie into knots and something deep inside his chest to squeeze. 

Farah told him to keep running, like he was going to stop anytime soon. He had a bloodthirsty wolf monster on his heels, the last thing on his mind was stopping. He could hear the animal’s pants behind him, far enough to not alarm him that much, but still very very alarming. 

“Can you still see it Dirk?” Farah asked, her voice still calm and profession despite the situation. 

Dirk risked a look behind him, the thing was still casing him, but it was pretty far away. Just in the edges of his vision, weaving in and out of the trees. The thing seemed to be a hybrid of a wolf and a man, with a human body covered in fur with very sharp teeth and claws. The sight of an animal and a human mashed together was horrifying to say the least. Dirk didn’t want to know what happened to this man to cause the anomaly. 

“Yes. But he's still pretty far away. All the people he has killed have been hikers, I don't think it likes the town. If I can get there I'm sure he'll leave me alone.” Dirk said, he wanted to say more but his breath was still short and he wanted to conserve it. 

“Okay, if you turn a little to the right you'll be heading back towards town, we’ll meet you somewhere near there. Can you do that?”

Dirk didn’t even bother responding, turning slightly to the right to follow Farah’s instructions. He really hoped this would work, he didn’t want to pull a bunch of innocent townspeople into this either. He could only pray that the man wanted to avoid town area.

He ran for silence for a bit longer before Farah’s panicked voice came back over the phone. The worried tone was so different from Farah’s normal calm voice that it made Dirk stumble.

“You need to change courses Dirk. Their a cliff the way your heading, you won’t be able to continue.” 

Dirk started to alter his path when he looked to the side of him. 

“Shit.” he said softly, slowing to a stop. Looking around, he saw that he had managed to run straight onto the cliff face. He quickly turned, ready to try and head back. The wolf man stood a lot closer than he was last time. Dirk quickly looked around, trying to find a way out. 

“Shit.” he said louder as the panic overtook him. 

“Dirk? Dirk what's wrong?” Farah was saying, her voice urgent. 

“How far down is that cliff?” Dirk asked softly, taking a step back as the wolf man stalked towards him. The man’s teeth were gleaming, drool hanging off of the fang. The thing was playing with him, it knew there was no way for Dirk to run either way without the thing getting to him first.

“Please don't tell me your up there.” Farah said, almost like she was scolding him. Dirk had to squash the urge to laugh. His heart was pumping and his breath was getting caught in his traitorous throat. 

“Sorry Farah. I need you to tell me how far down that cliff is.” Dirk whispered his panicked brain giving him the start of a plan. It was a horrible plan, a plan that Todd would tell him was stupid and Farah would glare at until he dropped it. 

A wild, risky, stupid idea. The kind of ideas he specializes in. 

“At least 33 meters high. There is no way you will make it. You have to find another way.” Farah sounded like she was pleading him now. Which unsettled him a lot. Farah never worried. That was more Todd's thing. Todd who he could hear talking rapidly in the other side of the phone. Dirk wanted to talk to him, in case this didn’t work out. He wanted to tell him something, he didn’t know what, but something. He was sure he'd know if he got the chance. 

But there was no time. No time for goodbyes. For anything other than split second decisions. Lucky for him he tended to be pretty good at them. 

“Don't worry Farah.” Dirk said, backing up again as the creature came even closer. “Its not me I need to make sure won't survive that fall.” 

Dirk peeled off his jacket, a nice purple one he was going to miss. He was left in just a nice tee-shirt, luckily not a Mexican Funeral one. He would hate to ruin another one of those. He quickly tossed the jacket to the side, the animals eyes following its journey. It was the distraction he needed.

“Goodbye Farah.” Dirk said softly, pulling the phone away before Farah could say anything else. He stepped backwards, taking another breath to try and get his heart beat under control. The wolf man was much closer, maybe only 50 feet away now. Close enough for Dirk to see the animalistic glare in his eyes as it tore its gaze back towards him. They would be back for him, they wouldn’t leave this thing out killing. But Dirk and more important things to focus on.

He close his eyes for a second. This was it. 

He turned before he could change his mind, running at the end of the cliff. He could hear the man behind him, snarling as he gave the chase. Adrenalin pumped through Dirk system as he reached the end of the rock face and jumped, launching himself into the empty air. 

__________________

Todd had never been a guy to get scared easily. He was more cautious of the unknown, wary of the things he didn’t know.

He had dealt with many things, should swapping, time travel, a purple people eater and even people from a different dimension wielding swords. 

But he was scared when Farah and him had been separated from them and Farah refused to let him talk to Dirk. 

And he was terrified as he watched Dirk launch himself off that cliff face. 

He felt like the world suddenly went mute, like his heart had stopped as he watched his best friend pinwheel in the sky for a moment before falling like a rock dropped out of the sky. Dirk tumbled in the air for a few seconds, twisting slightly and Todd couldn’t see his face but eh could only imagine the fear written all over it. 

Todd felt terrified as he watched Dirk, his best friends and closest friend rapidly approach the hard rock ground. He was aware that he was screaming Dirk’s name, running towards him like he could catch him and everything would be okay.

He didn’t want to watch Dirk die, didn’t think that he would be able to stand that. They had survived so much together, he could lose Dirk like this.

Dirk had only been falling for a few seconds when suddenly the air around him started to ripple, like it was water and someone threw a stone at it. Todd came to a standstill, mesmerized at the image. Suddenly, out of nowhere, two very large, very real wings appeared behind Dirks back. 

Todd felt his mouth hang open as he watched Dirk flip and start desperately flapping his wings, except he wasn’t flying, but seemed to be using them like giant parachutes. It seemed like something was wrong, the one wing seemed to be flapping a lot more than the other and it was at a weird angle too. Was it suppose to be like that? Shit, Todd didn’t know anything about wings, what was he suppose to know? Todd saw Farah run up next to him as they both tried to figure out where the man would fall.

There was a faint buzzing in Todd’s ears as Dirk got closer and closer to the ground, still going a lot faster than Todd wanted him to be. Dirk hit the ground around ten feet away from Todd, rolling head over feet until he was just a jumble of long limbs and wings. Holy fucking god he had wings.

Todd was over by Dirks side in record time, sliding to a stop beside his prone body. It was easy to override the sharp stings of pain when the fear was pumping adrenalin into his veins faster than anything he could imagine. 

“Dirk? Dirk!” Todd called out, carefully grabbing the man’s shoulders and rolling him onto his side, careful to ignore the stunning wings. They were hard not to look at, but at the moment Dirk was a lot more important. 

Todd felt his heart leap up into his throat when he saw Dirks pain filled face. The man’s nose was scrunched up in pain, his eyes screwed shut and body heaving with deep breaths. 

“Todd?” Dirk whispered, his eyes opening a tiny bit. “It’s alright Todd. ‘m fine. ‘m fine.” Dirk slurred, reaching up and placing a dirt covered hand on Todd’s arm. He was shaking, his fingers twitching either from pain or fear. Todd couldn’t tell.

Dirks eyes were slipping close again, so Todd quickly moved to slap his face a little, Dirks eyes opened again, this time looking more annoyed than anything. 

“What are you doing? That hurts.” Dirk said, defiantly grumpy, as he swatted Todd’s hand away. Todd almost smiled at the childlike annoyance, it made the knot in his chest slowly loosen. 

“You need to stay awake Dirk, tell me what’s hurting.” Todd ordered, not knowing if he broke something in the crash landing or if something was wrong with the wings. 

“Wing, need to get rid of it. Help me up.” Dirk ordered, suddenly pushing against Todd, causing him to stumbled backwards onto his ass. 

“Dirk!” Farah exclaimed, moving quickly to steady the taller man as he stood. “Slow down, your going to fall.” 

Dirk frowned. “I’ve already fallen Farah; did we already forget that happened?”

Todd flinched slightly, the images of Dirk free falling playing against his eyes. He knew he was going to have nightmares about it, nightmares that had only started happening when he was around Dirk. 

Farah frowned, but after a glance at Todd’s face, she dropped the issue. 

“Okay fine. Are you going to tell us about the wings?” She asked, her arms still wrapped around Dirk’s waist. Todd wanted to help, but didn’t think he could do it and be able to let go when Dirk was steady enough.

“No, you weren’t suppose to know about them, forget they existed.” Dirk said with a frown, before letting out a pained gasp.

Todd watched in horrified amazement as the air around Dirk shifted again, and the wings seemed to fold into themselves, disappearing from his sight. Todd knew his mouth was hanging open, but he had never seen anything like that. 

Farah blink, grumbling under her breath as she started moving forwards, half dragging Dirk behind her. Todd hurried to follow, his hands hovering over Dirks skin. Todd wanted to help, but he didn’t know how, didn’t know where he could touch. He knew Dirks boundaries, knew what touched he liked and didn’t like. But this was new, Dirk was hurting, and Todd didn’t know how to help. The helplessness was strangling him, tightening around his throat. Luckily, Todd had taken his medicine already. 

The last thing he needed right now was paralibuatis attack. 

They stumbled all the way back to town, Dirk getting worse the father the went, not any better. By now Todd’s heart was back in his throat, and he couldn’t stop the nagging feeling inside his head that was telling him something was very, very wrong.

Dirk collapsed into bed the moment they got into the room, his breathing harsh even in a sleeping state. Todd and Farah were left there staring at him, both trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.


	2. Icarus is flying towards an early grave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here it is! I should give a small disclaimer and say that there are mentions to my other story, "Icarus flew too close to the sun, but at least he flew" so there might be some confusing moments or mentions to that. It's not required reading but I'd suggest it if things get too confusing. 
> 
> Either way, I took a long time with this chapter but haven't really edited it much so if it sucks I apologize lol.
> 
> Also, they'res a really nice piece of artwork at the end that a user named FordPerfect made for this story. Its so pretty and I love it so much :)

Dirk was having what he liked to call a crisis.

 

He knew he passed out as soon as they got back to the hotel, but the pain didn’t let him sleep long.

 

He woke up with a gasp as he turned onto his back, putting pressure on the wound that didn’t even exist in this dimension. He cried out, but slapped a hand over his mouth to silence the sound. He looked around, the pain making it hard to keep a clear mind. He was in the hotel, laying on a bed, but he was also in Blackwing, priest holding his wing close.

 

Dirk sat up, his arms twisting back as he tried to feel what was causing this much pain. It felt like he broke it again, which was actually possible. He had done some research back when his wing had started to hurt again, he knew the bone would have healed. Just in the wrong place. He also knew the possible side effects of this, nerve damage, chronic pain, inability to use the limb again. He just didn’t really care. It wasn’t like he had ever planned on using his wings again, it was easier to deal with the pain and just suck it up.

 

He was regretting that decision now.Every year or so he would get a moment when pain flared up again, but none of those attacks compared to this pain. The bone deep ache that radiated throughout his body, pulsing and filling him with liquid fire.

 

Dirk managed to stumble to his feet, walking to the washroom as quietly as he could. Neither Todd nor Farah were in the room, but the openness of it reminded him too much of his room in Blackwing, he needed the privacy of the washroom.

 

He sat down on the toilet, keeping the room dark because his head was pounding and the last thing he needed was bright lights burning his eyes. Dirk tried taking deep breaths, focusing on the in and out motion of the air. It didn’t help. His phantom wing was still in immense pain and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

Being logical, Dirk could guess that he re-broke his wing or something. He first felt the pain when he stretched his wings out wide to slow his decent. His one wing was hard to spread, he could feel the muscles sore and stiff from the years of disuse. He remembered the sharp feeling as he finally was able to spread them out, overshadowed when he crashed into the ground and then was too focused on keeping Todd calm to focus on the pain.

 

Dirk put his hands on the counter and forces himself to his feet. He knew what he needed to do, but he didn’t like it. He really didn’t. The pain was causing him to mix up his realities. He could hear Priest laughing at him, calling him Icarus, his hands caressing his wings.

 

Dirk held in a sob as the memories hit him hard, knowing what he was about to do didn’t help him. He quickly summoned his wings, pulling them free. Somehow the pain was even worse when they were physical, he could feel the cold air rushing over his wings, setting him on fire. The limb screamed at him, telling him that something was wrong. He took some more deep breaths and moved his hands to hold his broken wing. He cupped the broken bone, spikes of pain emitting from the touch. Dirk gasped and quickly let go, instead ghosting his hands over the injury. The bone was jutting out, not poking through the skin and feathers but still at an odd angle. He didn’t want to do this.

 

Feeling hands on his wings, even his own, was almost unbearable. Every touch threatened to send him into a spiral, sending him back to a place he only saw in his nightmares. He had hidden his wings for almost 20 years, trying to ignore the fear he still felt due to the trauma he suffered that night. He couldn’t stand anything touching his wing, let alone breaking it once again. But the pain was too much, he couldn’t function like this, he just couldn’t.

 

He started to put his hands back on it, grimacing at the pain but already getting used to it. He placed his hands on both sides, trying summon any knowledge he had on medical stuff and block out Priests voice.

 

He knew he should wait for either Todd or Farah to do it, both of them were more equip on this but the thought made him cringe. It was hard enough to feel his own hands on his wings, let alone anyone else’s.

 

He closed his eyes, tightening his grip and deciding just to screw it. He snapped the bones back in place, biting back the scream that threatened to tear itself out of his throat. His vision swam and he pulled his hands away, they felt too much like Priest’s. He gripped the counter instead, digging his fingers in to ground himself against the waves of pain. Slowly the pain shrunk down until it was a dull throb.

 

Slightly ghosting his hands over his wings, he was surprised when his hand came back wet. He looked down at his red, bloodied hands and sighed. Looking down, he could see some feathers sitting on the floor, he must have pulled some out when he snapped the bones back into place. He should wash the rest of his feathers, get rid of the blood, but honestly he just wanted to stop all of this.

 

He let out a breath looking into the mirror at himself. His wings were spread out behind him, barely see able in the dark room. The brown and white feathers looked almost black in the lighting, making it look like he had two giant shadows behind him. He himself looked tired, bloodshot eyes and dirt covering him. The rough landing and running through the forest made him a mess. He had bruises all over his neck and face from the tree branches he had to run through. He bet if he pulled up his sleeves his arms would be covered too.

 

He forgot when he changed into a new shirt, but he must have. His other shirt was ripped up, his wings had tore through them, completely destroying the back. He forgot how his wings tended to do that. He remembered how Blackwing would have to cut holes in the back of his jumpsuits with buttons and everything to accommodate them, how he would have to painstakingly fold his wings through them and then button them up until the fabric was tight around them. He hated those suits so much; the fabric was painful against his wings and always dug into the flesh.

 

Dirk ran a hand down his face, his hand shaking slightly like it always did when he was stressed and thinking of Blackwing. Mark, another project who he met up with every year for a cup of tea, told him it was due to the electricity they pumped through him when he was younger. Dirk told Mark that he was too smart for his own good.

 

Dirk opened the door and walked back to his bed, his eyes suddenly feeling heavy. He collapses on the bed again, debating if he should tuck his wings away again. But he didn’t know how that would affect his newly reset bone. He would just go to sleep and hope he woke up before Todd and Farah got back. He had a lot of explaining to do, but maybe if he worked hard enough to avoid it they might not mention it again. Dirk closed his eyes and started taking deep breaths, ignoring the pain in his wings and falling asleep like he always used to.

__________

 

Todd had spent the past hour freaking out.

 

Him and Farah hadn’t wanted to wake Dirk up from his sleep so they left to get a coffee. They hadn’t spoken a word about the elephant in the room yet.

 

Todd wanted to scream at her to talk to him, because he wasn’t handling this very well and she looked no different than she always did. But Todd was breaking down. He had watched Dirk fall from the sky and magically grow wings. He guessed the name “Icarus” fit a lot better than he thought it did.

 

Todd watched as Farah gave a small smile and excused herself to the bathroom. Todd used this moment to pull out his phone and quickly dialing Amanda’s number, hoping for once in her life she’d pick up. Lucky was on his side and he almost cried out when he heard her say her usual, “Hey Bro.”

 

“Oh thank god Amanda, I need to talk to Martin quickly. Urgent matter.” He ordered, not bothering with small talk. The Rowdy Three knew all about Dirk’s Blackwing days, they’d know about his wings, or whatever. Maybe they’d know how it got hurt, because he looked at it up close and something was wrong with them.

 

“What? Um, sure, he’ll be right in.” Todd heard her lean away from the receiver and scream the man’s name. “What’s wrong is everything okay?” Amanda sounded slightly panicked, probably worried about how scared Todd himself sounded.

 

“Yes, no, I don’t know.” He said, running a hand through his hair. “Something happened that I need insight on, and Martin is probably the only one who will want to answer me about it.”

 

“Is it about Dirk?” Amanda asked, suspiciously. Todd just sighed. “If it is, are you sure you want Martin to tell you? Shouldn’t you ask Dirk?”

 

Todd couldn’t deny that logic, he really should just ask Dirk. But the way the man acted earlier pointed him towards the theory that Dirk wouldn’t open up. He seemed dead sure that he wanted to keep his extra limbs a secret for some reason. It hurt a bit, knowing that Dirk kept such a huge secret from him, that he didn’t trust Todd even after almost a year of knowing each other.

 

Dirk knew everything about him, every dirty little secret. Todd had told him them all one late night when he couldn’t sleep. They sat on the couch and Todd confessed his sins like Dirk was some kind of priest. It felt good, sitting there leaned up against the taller man, just talking to each other. Todd couldn’t describe the feeling it invoked.

 

“Oh here’s Martin, I’ll hand him the phone. Keep me updated on whatever domestic you two are having.” Amanda said before handing the phone off. Todd wanted to argue, because only couples have domestic fights and he and Dirk were certainly not a couple. Even if they acted like it sometimes, even if Todd sometimes imagined the idea.

 

“Drummer said you needed me?” Martin asked, as forward as always. Todd was about to explain when he heard Amanda scream something in the background. “Oh, you want to know about the wings?” Martin said, chuckling.

 

So the man did know about Dirks secret, Todd tried to hide the jealousy inside. It wasn’t like Dirk trusted Martin more than him, Martin was just in the right place at the right time to know.

 

“Yes, I really would.” Todd replied, glancing over at the washroom to make sure Farah was still in there, what was taking her so long anyways?

 

“I’m surprised he showed them to you, hasn’t let anyone see them ever since we escaped Black wing.” Martin mused, doing the math, that would have been around 20 years ago.

 

“Why not?” Todd asked, he knew he should get the story from Dirk, knew that Dirk was going to be upset Todd went behind his back like this, but he needed to know. And the chances of Dirk telling him were slim.

 

“And why should I tell you little man?” Martin challenged, suspicion coloring his voice. Todd knew how protective Martin was over Dirk, how protective all of the Rowdy Three were. He didn’t want to push, the last thing he needed was four angry vampires, a creature from another dimension and his sister all coming to murder him. It didn’t sound like it would lead to a very pleasant evening.

 

“He used them today. They looked hurt, I want to make sure nothing is wrong with them. I don’t want him to be in pain.” Todd said carefully, hopefully appealing to the man.

 

“Something happened, that’s all I have the right to say. Maybe the beauty boy will tell you himself, maybe he wont, but you won’t hear it from me.” Todd sighed at the words, knowing he wouldn’t be able to change his mind. Him and the other Rowdy’s had become a lot closer than they had when they first met. They tolerated him because he was Amanda’s brother, and he respected them for all the help they gave. But they weren’t what you’d call besties yet.

 

“Okay, fine. I got to go. Thank you Martin.” Todd said, trying not to sound frustrated.

 

“Update me on him okay?” Martin asked, before just hanging up on him. Todd scoffed and put the phone down, looking over at the bathroom again, Farah didn’t emerge for another minute or so. She looked like she was tucking something into her pocket or something else similar to that. Todd wondered if she was also calling someone, maybe Tina. He had noticed those two talking a lot recently.

 

“When do you want to head back?” Todd asked her, she just shrugged in response. “Its been around an hour or so, you think Dirk will be up at this time?” Todd prodded, not wanting to intrude of Dirk’s private time but every moment spent away made his anxiety rise. He had gone through a lot that day, all of them had and he didn’t want to be gone for too long.

 

“Knowing him he will either be out for a few more hours or be up soon. We could head back and check up on him if you want.” Farah responded, finishing the last sip of her coffee, a knowing look in her eyes. Todd ignored her like usual and headed towards the door because hell yes he wanted to go back.

 

They were around half way back when Farah spoke up.

 

“You’re worried about him.” She said quietly, not looking over at Todd.

 

“Well yeah, aren’t you?” Todd couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t be worried.

 

“Well yeah, I’m terrified, I watched my friend launch himself off a cliff and grow wings. I am freaking out, this is way past everything else we’ve ever done. But you seem a lot more effected by it then me. Which is weird.” Farah said, waving her hands around agitatedly. Todd had to agree, Farah did seem to be freaking out now, but Todd had been freaking out constantly since the moment Dirk left their sights hours ago in that forest.

 

“I don’t know why.” Todd said honestly. “I just don’t want to see him hurt.” Farah raised her eyebrows disbelievingly.

 

“You don’t know why?” She scoffed.

 

“No I don’t. Why? What do you think it is?” Todd asked, curious and slightly offended at the same time.

 

Farah shook her head.“Doesn’t matter. But how did seeing him hurt like that make you feel?” Todd wasn’t sure where these questions were coming from, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know.

 

“I don’t know. I was scared, I don’t like seeing him hurt. Reminds me of all the close calls we’ve had over the years. He deserves to live safely, I think out of anyone in the world he deserve it.” Todd said quietly. It was true, Dirk had never purposely hurt anyone that hadn’t attacked him first. The man was just a walking ray of sunshine that kept on getting poured on. He deserved a chance to be happy, to be himself. The universe owed him that much.

 

“Maybe you should tell him that sometimes.” Farah said quietly, before walking ahead to open the door. They had made it back to the hotel.

 

Todd didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t Dirk sitting in bed, his wings bloodied and wrapped around him with a haunted look on his face.

_________________

When Dirk woke up due to a nightmare, he didn’t except Todd and Farah to walk in moments later.

 

He was just sitting in his bed, his wings wrapped around him because he forgot how warm they were. How comforting the feeling of them wrapped around him felt. The safety it induced, kind of like how hiding under the bed felt when he was a child.

 

Then Todd and Farah barged right in, stopping talking and just staring at him for a moment. Dirk was too tired to do anything other than watch them back, he wanted to hide his wings but that would mean losing the warmth they currently provided and that didn’t sound that appealing.

 

“Oh um, hi. How long have you been up for?” Todd said, blushing and moving further into the room. Dirk just shrugged non-committedly, ducking his head down. He felt like a brooding child, but he didn’t want to sleep again. Not when whenever he closed his eyes he say Priest smirking down at him, saw the wolf thing from earlier staring him down, saw himself free falling off of a cliff. If he tried hard enough her could still hear Priest whispering his name, the Rowdy three screaming for him to move, Todd screaming his name as the wind rushed past his ears.

 

He didn’t think he was getting any more sleep anytime soon. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut through with a blade. Farah stood by the door, her arms crossed as she leaned against it, Todd was digging through his bag again, trying to look like he was searching for something when he obviously wasn’t. Dirk just sat there, staring at the white sheets and pretending he was somewhere else, somewhere when none of this happened and he could happily pretend he didn’t just ruin the most important relationships he’d ever had with anyone.

 

Farah suddenly cleared her throat, causing both men to look up at her. “I’m going to go do some stuff, you two have fun.” With that she stepped out of the door, carefully locking it shut.

 

Dirk looked over to Todd to see if the other man knew why Farah suddenly made a hasty retreat. But the other man was simply staring at Dirk, a half fearful half something else written on his face. Dirk looked back down, his cheeks heating from the attention the other man was giving him.

 

“Can I uh, sit down here?” Todd asked quietly, crossing over and pointing to the edge of Dirks bed. Dirk scooted back a bit, nodding slightly. He was afraid, he really was. He didn’t want to know what Todd thought about all this, how mad or disappointed he was in Dirk for keeping this secret from him. Dirk didn’t think he would be able to handle the feeling of Todd’s rejection again.

 

“Does it hurt?” Todd asked softly, causing Dirk to look up at him.

 

“Not much anymore, I fixed it.” He replied, looking away from Todd’s stare. He didn’t know how Todd knew he was hurt, or why the man wanted to know. They sat in silence for a while longer.

 

“They are nice you know.” Todd said randomly. “Your wings I mean, I like them.” Dirk blushed slightly, wrapping his wings tighter around his body.

 

He felt a sudden surge of bravery though, since Todd wasn’t screaming at him or hitting him. Which he knew Todd wouldn’t do, hopefully. Deep inside he was 100% sure that neither Todd nor Farah would do anything to harm him. They were his friends, despite the fact that he didn’t really know what that word truly meant. But he was sure Todd was his friend, and friends didn’t hurt each other. And Dirk felt safe around Todd most of the time.

 

So he did something slightly stupid.

 

He slowly unwrapped one wing, the one that hadn’t been broken, and reached it out towards Todd. He could feel the slight fear pulsing through his veins, causing his heart to stutter.

 

Was he ready for this? To let someone touch his wings again? The last time he did it didn’t work out well, but Todd would never hurt him.

 

That much he was sure of.

 

____________

 

Todd didn’t know what to do when Dirk moved his wing towards him.

Todd could see the tension in Dirk, written all over him. His eyes were shielded, his face blank, the wing itself was shaking, held tight with tension. He wasn’t sure what this gesture meant, how much trust Dirk was giving him, but he could guess it was a lot.

 

Someone had hurt Dirk in the past, hurt his wing due to the blood on the one he still held close. This meant something to Dirk, and Todd really didn’t want to mess this up.

 

He slowly reached towards it, the wings really were a thing of beauty. They were long, maybe around 10 feet in length. The top was a dark brown, slowly washing out into a dirty grey like white at the tips. The feathers were long and silky looking, but out of place, scattered and ungroomed. He ghosted his fingers over them, marvelling at the softness of them. He felt Dirk pull away slightly, the limb shaking a little more intensely.

 

Todd looked up at Dirk making sure he was still okay. The man was staring at him, his steel blue eyes open wide. With the amount of trust he held in his eyes he almost looked like a child. A little wide-eyed boy who had been hurt too many times finally looking at someone he trusted.

 

Todd swallowed and looked back down at the wing. He didn’t know what he had done to gain this trust, but he was beyond grateful that he had it.

 

He placed his hand on the wing again, slowly stroking it. Electricity seemed to flow through his fingers when he touched it, lighting him up with a sense of warmth. The feathers were soft and silky, despite the obvious mistreatment. He could feel the muscles under it, strong and flexing. His hands traveled up further, feeling the structure of the bone and the shorter, tougher feathers he didn’t know the use of. He reached the top od it, right near Dirk’s shoulder. He let his hand drop.

 

“They’re amazing.” He breathed, watching his hand on the comforter.

 

“Thanks, I probably need to groom them. Its been years since I did it the last time.” Dirk seemed to be holding back, not rambling as much as he normally did. Todd looked up at him again.

 

“Why did you hide them away?” Todd blurted out, closing his mouth immediately after. He shouldn’t push, but he wanted to know.

 

Dirk looked away momentarily before looking back. “They got hurt, and I didn’t want anyone else touching them ever again.” Dirk said quietly, the honesty shocking Todd. He thought it would be a lot harder to get him to talk. “And also, I found out pretty quickly that people out here judge people for their differences. I didn’t want to stick out more than necessary, didn’t want people to notice me, to hate me for any other reason than I was an outsider. So I hid and tried to forget about it.”

 

Todd wanted to formulate a response, perhaps telling him that it wasn’t true. But he couldn’t.

 

People in this world hated anything different from their idea of normal, hated people for the color of their skin or the people they loved. How would people react to Dirk’s wings? He had a sinking suspicion that many people wouldn’t take it too well.

 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Todd said carefully, trying to work this properly. “But I’m not like that. Farah is not like that. We can put up with your weird holistic stuff, so we can put up with a few extra limbs as well.” Dirk looked slightly confused, but nodded either way. “You can tell me anything. Do anything. But don’t do that again okay?” Todd continued, looking at the wall behind Dirk as he tried to control his emotions. He didn’t want to think of Dirk falling off that cliff, him hitting the ground. “Don’t do anything that reckless. I was terrified.”

 

Dirk pulled his wing back, slowly crawling over until he was sitting right next to Todd. Todd sat completely still as he felt Dirk wing curl around him, the warmth leaking into his skin. Then suddenly the wing was pushing him to the side until he felt himself cuddled up to Dirks side with Dirks arms wrapping around his waist to pull him even closer.

 

Todd immediately melted into the embrace, the feeling of the sturdy wings and Dirk relaxing the constant anxiety he had been feeling all day.

 

“I promise I’ll try not to get cornered by a crazy wolf man on a cliff ever again.” Dirk said, no sense of sarcasm in his voice. Todd just had to laugh.

 

“Well thanks.” He said through his laughs, looking up to see Dirk grinning down at him. “We still have to deal with that thing don’t we?” Dirk grin grew.

 

“Yeah, I’ve been kind of avoiding that fact.” He said. Todd chuckled again, leaning his head on Dirk’s shoulder. They sat there in the silence for a while, just staring at the grey walls and getting lost in their own thoughts.

 

Todd didn’t know what to describe what the two of them had. A sort of almost there relationship that teetered on the edge of something else. It was trust, fear, and hope for a better life all thrown into one. Todd wasn’t sure how Dirk was feeling at this moment, but surrounded by Dirks wings, leaning against the taller mans side, he had never felt safer.

 

Everything wasn’t fixed, they still had many issues to deal with, secrets that needed to come forward. But at this moment, wrapped in each other arms, everything felt okay.

 

 

 

And now a beautiful piece of Artwork by the lovely FordPerfect:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! I really hope everyone enjoyed the story and I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments, I'm always open to writing more stories about winged!Dirk, it's one of my favorite AU's :)
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I am a woman of math. I know that it would only take Dirk like 3 seconds at most before he hits the ground. But for the sake of the story, lets just say that it took a lot longer okay? Please don't kill me math nerds, I know its unrealistic. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, there will be tons of fluff coming up next chapter :)


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